“You are here on earth to unearth who on earth you are.” - Eric Micha'el Leventhal
Do you think Eric Micha'el Leventhal has discovered who he is or what he was meant to become? Is he living the life he was intended to live thus, fulfilling his true purpose and destiny?
Although there are many quotes on the subject I especially appreciate the imagery Mr. Leventhal's statement invokes. Freedom lies in self-discovery; in unearthing or releasing yourself from whatever restraints bind you; fear, family, finances, friends, religion. Rising triumphant from an earthly grave to a newness of life with an increased understanding of who you really are.
I marvel at individuals who have experienced this state of re-birth and often wonder if there is a formula one can adopt to guarantee the same result. Perhaps they were born under the same star; destined to live their dreams. Perhaps, they received sound guidance or had greater opportunities available to them. Perhaps it occurred accidentally, a fortunate coincidence experienced only by a select few and envied by the many who are still shoveling, still searching to find themselves. A life-long occupation, for some, yielding a life of dreams unrealized, goals unobtained.
I have devoted my life to realizing this dream of understanding my true purpose. The Church teaches a woman's true purpose in life is to be a wife and mother. I am currently thirty-five years old and have yet to become either. Although I do not believe failure to achieve marriage and motherhood results in a life of failure I do wonder then...what is my purpose?! To what end was I born? For what purpose did I come into the world? Like so many others I can only answer "I don't know."
So the shoveling continues. I study, I ponder, I pray and repeat again. I get up, go to work and wonder throughout the day, "why am I here? Why now and for how long?" Wonder sometimes turns to frustration and I cry "seven and a half years of study so I could work as an Administrative Assistant?" To which I always answer "I don't think so."
Yet, after a year and half I continue to shovel, continue to search for my true purpose in life. Who am I? Where do I belong? What is the next step and how do I begin? I have often complained I feel like I am spinning my wheels but going absolutely nowhere. I continue to apply for positions in my field without success. I continue to investigate different areas of study but seem unable to decide upon one.
Is it fear that imprisons me or indecision? I'm not certain. I can say with absolute certainty, I'm tired. I'm tired of shoveling. I'm tired of waiting and wondering. I want to know! I want to know what my purpose is! If it is not to be a wife and mother then what is it?! I must have one! If so, what is the key to my release? Wherein does my re-birth lie? Please tell me, that I may experience it; that I may rest from shoveling and live free!
I marvel at individuals who have experienced this state of re-birth and often wonder if there is a formula one can adopt to guarantee the same result. Perhaps they were born under the same star; destined to live their dreams. Perhaps, they received sound guidance or had greater opportunities available to them. Perhaps it occurred accidentally, a fortunate coincidence experienced only by a select few and envied by the many who are still shoveling, still searching to find themselves. A life-long occupation, for some, yielding a life of dreams unrealized, goals unobtained.
I have devoted my life to realizing this dream of understanding my true purpose. The Church teaches a woman's true purpose in life is to be a wife and mother. I am currently thirty-five years old and have yet to become either. Although I do not believe failure to achieve marriage and motherhood results in a life of failure I do wonder then...what is my purpose?! To what end was I born? For what purpose did I come into the world? Like so many others I can only answer "I don't know."
So the shoveling continues. I study, I ponder, I pray and repeat again. I get up, go to work and wonder throughout the day, "why am I here? Why now and for how long?" Wonder sometimes turns to frustration and I cry "seven and a half years of study so I could work as an Administrative Assistant?" To which I always answer "I don't think so."
Yet, after a year and half I continue to shovel, continue to search for my true purpose in life. Who am I? Where do I belong? What is the next step and how do I begin? I have often complained I feel like I am spinning my wheels but going absolutely nowhere. I continue to apply for positions in my field without success. I continue to investigate different areas of study but seem unable to decide upon one.
Is it fear that imprisons me or indecision? I'm not certain. I can say with absolute certainty, I'm tired. I'm tired of shoveling. I'm tired of waiting and wondering. I want to know! I want to know what my purpose is! If it is not to be a wife and mother then what is it?! I must have one! If so, what is the key to my release? Wherein does my re-birth lie? Please tell me, that I may experience it; that I may rest from shoveling and live free!
No comments:
Post a Comment